Hi friends!
If you know me personally, then I hope you know where this post is going. If you don’t know me I hope you can feel my arms wrap around you in a big ole mama hug.
At MOP’s (Mother’s of Preschoolers, one of my favorite monthly activities!) this week one of the mamas spoke about judgment and comparison. She not only shared her heart about being the object of judgement from other mamas, but was also transparent enough to confess she too had judged other mamas. We all do it, whether its silently to ourselves, or verbally to the one who is “in the wrong” (in our opinion!) or the worst way which is between other mamas.
Why?
Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves, our kids, our lifestyles to others when everyone is either in a different place, season, or all together different way of life? We all have our ways of doing things, but who gets to say for sure who’s right. And really why does it matter?
For me, there are things that are higher on my priority list than others. But for you my priorities may not be that important to you.
For instance, for me I don’t have a big concern for germs. I’m obviously not going to let Kerrington lick the floor of a public restroom, but I don’t feel it’s necessary to hose her down in hand sanitizer after she makes contact with everything outside our home. I let her touch things while we are out, I let her crawl on the floor at the airport, and I let her play in the dirt. She’s also probably eaten about a cup full of sand from her little sand-box I made her. I am, however, passionate about what she eats and drinks. I put a high value on homemade non-processed, sugar-free, and as clean as possible foods, and she only gets water and mama’s milk.
But I know mamas who are the total opposite on the above ideas. Neither one of us are wrong.
I also enjoy working out. Not only do I physically need to work-out, I need it emotionally too. I’m not the best mama when I don’t because I’m more irritable, less patient, and just don’t feel good. So I work-out, I don’t always want to, but I try my hardest to get in at least 2 preferably 3 workouts a week. But for the mama who would rather spend the time that I do working out cleaning or tending to her own never-ending to-do list, well then more power to ya mama!
Lately I have felt as though I should refrain from posting so much about everything I am doing for Kerrington’s birthday or the outfits I have been sewing for her. I don’t want to cause another mama to feel she is less than because of the way I prioritize my time or the projects I undertake. I want to be sensitive to the fact that I often feel less than when I see what all others do, and I don’t want anyone to ever look at me and think I put myself on a pedestal because of the areas I find enjoyment in.
I don’t sew for Kerrington because it makes me a better mom, I do it because it’s fun for me.
I’m not going “all out” on her first birthday to “one up” anyone else, or show off what all I can do, or to say “I’m a better mama because blah, blah, blah.” I’m doing it because I find joy in pulling the different details together, I mean it’s kind of what I do for a living too. 🙂
I liked that our speaker (Hi Amanda!) said there are so many different ways of raising our children. Breastfeeding or formula, private school or public, cry it out or pick them up…the list goes on and on. Outside of Biblical instruction there are a lot of decisions that are really just personal preference. God fully equipped us to raise our children, and a sound mind to make the right decisions to do it.
You are the only one who can mother your children.
Whatever decision you make, do it confidently. There’s no perfect formula for how to skip-to-my-lou down mamahood lane.
In the past 11 months the biggest thing I have learned is it’s pretty much trial and error in terms of what will end up working. Every season is different, and comes with a learning curve and a lot of grace.
So I pray you can hear me and my (what has been pointed out to me as a) “thick Texan accent” when I say, you are doing everything right mama.
Keep loving those babies, and making the choices that you know with all your heart is right for your family. Hold your head high, pull those shoulders back, and walk confidently down this crazy road of motherhood.
There is one right way to be the mama your babies need, and that way is exactly how you are already doing it.
Until next time,
xoxo, Tamara